Mildly “Magic”-al Mike

I was there the moment I saw Joe Mangiano without a shirt more often in 30 seconds than in all of Season 3 of “True Blood.”. So, I did it.

I saw “Magic Mike.”

I happily drove to the theater, met up with my friends and announced “Let there be beefcake!”

And it was. Served up on a oiled-down, 5 O’Clock-shadowed, Golden God thong.I took myself a two-hour, visual bite…..

And half an hour later, I was hungry again.

I’ll hand it to Steven Soderbergh. He made much more out of it than anyone else could have, I think. But ultimately, it was a hunk of medium-well done, mid-grade, Sizzler-Special.

Soderbergh’s The Serious Message Movie Guy. That’s what earned him an Oscar. I give him super big ups for stretching his creative muscles by showing he could direct a bunch of hunky guys displaying theirs.

However, the flick needed more fun. Soderbergh’s not that guy. He’s the good boy that you take home to meet the folks because you are going to marry him.

This film needed the hot, bad boy from whom/to whom the 3 am booty call happens. Y’know, the one with whom you have mind-blowing sex but will never, ever be boyfriend material? Goddess help me for saying this, but was Michael Bay not available?

Eh, he probably passed on the flick, thinking it would tarnish his hyper-masculine movie chops.

At any rate, in times of beefcake-famine, I’ll take what I can get. Just next time, cast, can you take Steven out for some shots before the shoot? M’kay? Thanks.

 The JurassiGoth

P.S. The fabulosity that is Jezebel.com has this eerily prescient bit with Matt Damon and Dave Letterman. Go. Watch. Laugh: http://jezebel.com/5922692/matt-damon-weirdly-predicted-magic-mike-back-in-2009-plus-a-shirtless-matthew-mcconaughey-supercut?popular=true

 

Who’s The Fairest Update of Them All?

A short one this week, darklings.

I know it’s not getting great reviews.

I don’t care.

Snow White and the Huntsman” had me at action shots of Kristen Stewart, in full armor, swinging a sword at the baddies.

LOVE. THIS:

Snow White and The Huntsman

I got your Volturi now, bizatches!

There’s a one sheet with a better shot of her armor, but I could find it on Google Images. Plus, I’m leaving to see the movie soon, so I didn’t have time to look elsewhere.

It’s kick-ass enough to qualify for this site: http://womenfighters.tumblr.com/.

Plus, any movie with kung-fu fighting dwarves can’t be too bad, can it? (Not to mention another chance to stare at Chris Hemsworth for 90 minutes. Rowr.)

The JurassiGoth

 

When Did Junior High Become Middle School?

Greenwood Middle School

I went here. A loooooonnnnggg time ago.

Last week really made the JurassiGoth feel the Jurassi-.

My day job put me in my old middle school–a junior high when I went there—making sure students and teachers weren’t cheating on the requisite Leave-Every-Child-Oops, Sorry-No-Child-Left-Behind standardized tests.

I walked down the halls where a (now unfortunately passed on) classmate called out my name in a classic rock song.

I was in the same classroom where a boy questioned my dating of another guy instead of him. After digging up a picture of that boy, I remembered asking the same question of myself a scant seven months later. Ah, the ripe old age of fifteen….

I sat in an art classroom-a new art classroom. I passed by the former drama classroom, where I earned the Best Actress of 8th Grade Drama Club Award. I was sure the Academy was next.

I frightened the current teachers. I walked to the aforementioned art classroom and as I turned left down the hall, I stopped.

I walked back. I turned again.

Wait a minute. I can TURN LEFT. I couldn’t do that as a student.

I would find out a very good reason for that from the art teacher. That wing of the school was built 8 years ago. So, very new, considering the time that has passed since I was a tween, awkward-ing down those halls.

I’m so glad to be old.

The JurassiGoth

 

About Darned Time

And I missed it.

Nice Day for a Black Wedding

Go, go Gadget Goth Parasol! Whew.

So, before the Guy-Lined Goth Cops come to fine me and revoke my (Jurassi)Goth Card, I’m most perky-goff happy to report that our day has finally come.

Attention: Baby Bats, Wannabes, Used-to-Be’s, Not-A-Goths, Hellbillies, RivetHeads and RivetKittens, Cyberpunks, Steampunks and of course, fellow JurassiGoths: May 22nd is officially World Goth Day.

A day to celebrate the kaleidoscope that is our beloved subculture.

Yes, my normie readers, I said kaleidoscope. See all the names above? That’s just a black-painted fingernail scratching the surface of our scene.

Our music, our art, our publications all break down into so many sub-genres that just listing them would be a whole other post. Huh…there’s a thought….

So, my fellow darklings, let your black (or purple or sparkly neon green) freak flag fly and celebrate the moment when you answered the call to our tribe from that dark voice.

What the heck is Andrew Eldritch doing these days, anyway?

The JurassiGoth

P.S. The Goth Cops are letting me off with a warning after I sincerely promised to throw a sick graveyard bash next year.

 

When You Love A Super Villain

Tom Hiddleston as Loki from "The Avengers"

Diabolical plans go awry again, dear?

I know. You’ve already seen the movie.

If you haven’t, you’ve already heard all the buzz. It’s true.

Awesome Sauce. This flick is soaking in it.

It’s got character development. It’s got action. It’s got already-classic lines straight from the giant brain of Our New Master, Joss Whedon.

For those of who like that sort of thing, and I most definitely do, it also happens to have some of the hottest men in the business of show.

Now, it goes without saying that the heroes are all drool-worthy. However, the JurassiGoth was quite surprised to find herself thinking the same about Mr. Megalomania himself, Loki.

Maybe it’s Mr. Tom Hiddleston’s huge baby blues that can go from looking wounded to looking for something to wound in 10 seconds flat that does it.

Maybe it’s the 1000-watt smile that I expect to suddenly sprout fangs when he holds forth on the suitability of humankind for slavery.

I don’t know. I just know that I find Loki as hot as I do the heroes. Is that wrong?

I’m a little scared.

The JurassiGoth

La Tour De Caroline Du Sud

Church, Downtown Charleston

Not bad for a smartphone snap from a moving vehicle, huh?

Still LOVE this church. Okay, so it has taken the JurassiGoth three weeks, but she’s now getting around to her South Kakilaki trip.

First, getting to see some VIPJs (Very Important People to the JurassiGoth) was the best part. Due to overestimation of how quickly one could recover from 2 and 1/2 years of unemployment and underestimation of the ability of gas prices to know no ceiling, it took 7 months of being back on the (B)East Coast before I could make the trip.

So glad I took a stand against boss and family and made the trip. It was great to see the peeps that were able to carve out the time.  For those that were not, never fear. I shall return, and y’all are on deck, JSYK.

I hope it never ceases to amaze me how, after many years and an entire continent’s distance, it was just like I had only left to go back to my house for the evening. As in the case with “Neecey,” like I just gone back to my room for the night. Things were easy and honest. I am grateful beyond words for the friendship of the two very special humans with whom I spent time.

*The JurassiGoth pauses. Dots heavily lined eyes with a tissue. Proceeds.**

Then, there were the two places of fond and not-so-fond memory: Camden and Charleston.

I have to confess to realizing I never really gave Camden its due credit. Driving through the town, I had forgotten how picturesque it can be. I saw all the places haunted by the ghosts of my teenage self. Like Hogwarts, I saw my 16 year-old visage passing through the streets right next to my friends’ kids.  I just hope I’m more Nearly-Headless Nick than Moaning Myrtle.

The sight of hotels and gas stations instead of forests and fields close by my adolescent home made me a little sad. So did the empty lot where the ancient English building at the old Camden High (now Camden Middle) School once stood. While I know it was a bat-guano-ridden fire hazard (GULP) two decades ago when I attended, I still can’t help wondering if they could have saved it somehow. Plus, I don’t know how Kershaw County School District can live with itself, knowing it has rendered hundreds of bats homeless.

Pleasurable and painful memories alike abound in that little burg. Maybe one day, darklings, the JurassiGoth will hold forth about them. But for now, on to Charleston.

So, the second part of my journey was the famed South Carolina port–and surrounding towns. I do loves me the SC Low Country and if I were to ever live in that state again, Charleston/Walterboro/Beaufort is where I would perch. I spent the evening with Neecey and his (yes, he. Inside story. Just go with it.) family on the crick in the sticks. He told me I would think I had gone too far or the wrong way as I was searching for his folks’ place. I didn’t believe him. I should have. I did, in fact, start to wonder for about 10 minutes prior to finding the road on which they dwell.

But GOR-GEOUS is the place and well worth the trip. After 10 years in LA, the silence made me a little nervous that night. Don’t get it twisted, though. I could quickly and easily get used to it. A leisurely good time was had by all and the next day, Neecey indulged my desire to venture into Charles-town.

The main business of Charleston is being Charleston. Tourism is the heavyweight champion business, so the benefit for those of us who live or have lived there is that it doesn’t change much. Outside of some cosmetic changes, that little city is still the city I loved during my first attempt at higher education. That strange mixture of Southern charm, historical authenticity, artsy culture and laid-back college vibe still permeates the air of The Battery. Hey, Oprah owns a home there. Do you need to know more?

I got so little time with the city or my friend, however, that I have nothing else to report. Again, I will be returning, so there shall be more.

The same goes for my friend in Camden and that little town. The second day of the trip, I realized I had been too ambitious and excited in my planning. I did not even get to Columbia, the state capital and another town that holds many memories, during this trip. I realized that 8 formative years of my life could not, in fact, be squeezed into 4 days.

I am already sculpting my next trips. One will be devoted exclusively to Camden/Columbia areas and the other to the Charleston area. That way, I’ll have plenty of time to get to all the old haunts and new jaunts.

And maybe I can finally score that WUSC t-shirt for Dr. Snott.

The JurassiGoth